Sunday, May 31, 2009

Blog Neglect

I am so guilty of blog neglect. Over this past year, in particular, I haven't blogged much, nor have I been reading other blogs regularly. But, for some reason, I'm not ready to clue up my blog. It still feels like an old friend who you can go without talking to for months, then drop in on and pick up exactly where you left off.

At the end of this summer, we will celebrate the two year anniversary of bringing home our son. He'll start Kindergarten this coming fall. There has been so much growth- both literally and figuratively- around here since he's been home that it is truly remarkable. We are incredibly lucky with all of our 3 kids.

And now, we are at a crossroads. Do we have room in our lives for one more child? Not so sure. The hectic pace of keeping up with the schedules of 3 children when both parents work full-time (with one of them travelling frequently) is sometimes wearing. But my fantasy family has always included 4 kids. I can't help but have this nagging feeling that we might not be totally done with our family. But, then the feeling passes as the reality of getting supper on the table or another lunch box ready smacks me between the eyes!

The other nagging feeling I have is that if there is another child to enter our lives, then maybe he (I don't think its a "she") won't come to us through international adoption. I almost can't believe I've written that! I am such a proponent of adoption through China's Waiting Child Program. Our experience has been so fantastic with the WCP. It would be my logical first choice to adopt again through this program- we'd request another son, 2-3 years old, probably cleft-affected. So, I can't reconcile why I feel that I am being drawn more towards other options... especially when the other options are so unclear to me... or maybe they don't even exist at all. Sigh.

I've been reading posts on some of my adoption-related yahoo groups concerning how you know when "you're done" with growing your family. I guess it is different for everyone. I'll keep you posted.

1 comment:

Dave said...

Hi Carolyn,

Wow. I wish you all the best with this decision. All I can say is, "You'll know when you know". Not much help, but words I believe in!

Say hello to everyone!