Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The news could be a lot worse...

We had hoped to receive news that our agency has received files for Waiting Children who could be matched to their 20+ families currently adopting through this program. They received 8 files. Great news, yes, for 8 families, but rather disappointing news for the rest of us. The agency has requested more files, but no one can predict when the CCAA will send them.

As for the "direct matches" or "child proposals" that are expected for the families who had selected information (but not a complete dossier) sent to the CCAA on their behalf, well, we are unsure how the CCAA is going to deal with us. We hope for more information in the coming weeks.

So, I went to bed pretty grumpy last night and started to mine my Yahoo groups and various blogs for information before getting ready for work this morning. That's when I clicked on "Chinese Starfish" and read Amanda's most recent post.

The post is about Bonnie, a mom whose family had decided a couple of months ago to adopt Susan, one of Amanda's foster children in China. Susan was quite ill, with a serious congenital heart condition, and, sadly, she died before Bonnie and her family could get to her. After what sounds like much soul-searching, Bonnie and her family decided to apply to adopt another little girl with a heart condition- a little girl from Anhui province who they planned to call Mandi Hope.

Well, Amanda posted a letter from Bonnie that contained some very sad news. Mandi Hope has died suddenly in her foster home... and they do not yet know the details.

I pray that Bonnie and her family find peace in the midst of this turmoil they've been living through. And I'm grateful to Amanda for being brave enough to reveal the risks and losses that adoptive families sometimes experience.

Today, I have a new perspective on our situation.

To read Chinese Starfish, look at the links on the right under "insightful blogs (waiting children)".


wzgirl said...

Oh wow. Wow.

Libby,Dave and Holly said...


So sorry to hear that you were not able to be matched this time. As you say you have to try to keep it all in perspective.You will have to try to remember how far you have come since you began the process a few years ago.I hope the new process for waiting children will be faster than you think.

take care and hang in there


Carolyn said...

Thanks, Libby! I appreciate your support, as always :)

a&mg said...

I'm also sorry you did not get a match this time. I am hoping it will happen very soon for you!!

Mommy-To-Channing said... havent gotten a match? one knows that yet girl. I know your near the bottom of the list, but HEY anything can happen. I'm pretty sure I'm #2 on the list and I could NOT receive a referral. Those babies need to be match with what families requested and I believe you requested a there may be a chance!!
Hang in there and keep your chin up!! I know its hard, but there is nothing we can do, except WAIT!!!

Carolyn said...

Thanks, Kim- you're a sweetie!
If it is meant to be, our little guy will be in this batch. If he's not, his file might be one that Yulin manages to get... we'll just have to see.
I'm *really* hoping you see Channing's sweet face soon...

Carolyn said...
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redmaryjanes said...

Hang in there. There is one child that is meant for you and nothing will keep you apart. Just have faith. I can't imagine how hard it is to be in your shoes right now. I will say a little prayer for you and wish that you will be a able to find a little peace in all of this.

Elizabeth said...

I didn't like reading the Starfish posts. That really sucks for that poor family. And it makes me worry about asking for a heart baby. Ugh. I'll poor a glass of wine in our honor, and for all of us waiting, tonight.

Carolyn said...

The baby Susan was way sick- I don't think a baby in her condition could be referred to a Canadian family because of our stricter immigration policies wrt health. US families seem to be able to adopt children with more serious needs.
As for Mandi Hope, I think its possible that her death was completely unrelated to her heart condition- they just don't know yet.
But there is a family here in Canada that I know of who lost a baby between referral and travel- viral meningitis. It happens... rarely.
Don't stress about the heart thing... most of what I read about this kids is overwhelmingly positive! I'm believeing that its a relatively easy medical need to manage.
Have an extra glass of wine for me!